3 Reasons Why We Need To Say No
Aug 28, 2019
If you’re reading this right now… you probably have at least one, if not, a couple of close people in your life. These people rely on you, have needs to be met and will probably require support from you in some way. This means you already have some responsibility to be their YES person to help with their daily duties in life.
But... constantly saying YES to other people like friends, colleagues, strangers, acquaintances… is hurting you & hurting your health.
It keeps you up at night when you can’t say no to that phone call.
It leaves you feeling overwhelmed when you get another business asking you for help.
It leaves you drained when you socialise with a friend, when you really wanted to say no.
So here are 3 Reasons Why We Should Say No:
- Saying no helps us set our boundaries. If we don’t know our boundaries… no one will know them. And when your not clear on your boundaries, they can be pushed or broken. We must have boundaries on how others are allowed to treat us.
- Saying no helps prioritise ourselves and our wellbeing. Sometimes we have to say no, in order to make better choices. For example… saying NO to staying up late at night or saying no to eating sugary foods. Saying no is an active form of self love as we are recognising our needs and prioritising things for our higher self.
- It’s hurting our health. If we say YES all the time - we are likely to end up making decisions that don’t support our health and wellbeing. We are likely to be feeling drained, tired, stressed and resentful. Definitely not thriving.
So, how do we say NO?
Well - we can try two approaches.
One is to set some boundaries. Think.... Your sleeping habits, time spent on your phone, your lunch break, family time, socialising., exercise. It should all be relatively balanced, realistic and achievable. Write each factor down - and write how often you would like to do each task. And if you don’t know how long, think about how you currently live. Should you do X thing less or more?
Then, we can think about response. We want to acknowledge that person - as they are a person! But the trick is… we do not need an excuse. This is part of saying no in a clear and assertive way. You do not need an excuse. Saying NO is OK.
‘I’d love to X, but I'm going to pass.”.
“Thanks for the offer, but I’ve got somewhere to be”.
“Think of me next time, but I'm doing X”.
“I’m so grateful you thought of me, next time would be better”.
“Thank you, but I’m going to politely decline.”
“Thanks for thinking of me, but I can’t right now.”
It will feel weird originally, but then it will feel better and get easier each time. Spend some time writing and setting your boundaries, then you look at your boundaries when someone asks you for/to do X. Then you can assess if you want to + if you have the time and energy. Then you can clearly and assertively try one of these responses as a reply.
So have a think...
Are you constantly people pleasing?
How does that make you feel?
What boundaries can you set today?